Team Amazon --- MightyMewtronEdit

  • Heather
  • Gwen
  • Courtney
  • Sierra
  • Cody

Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot --- CoGreen2.0Edit

  • Alejandro
  • Noah
  • Tyler
  • Owen
  • Izzy

Team Victory --- GleekGurlJerksEdit

  • Leshawna
  • Lindsay
  • Bridgette
  • DJ
  • Ezekiel
  • Harold

Can't Help Falling In LouisEdit

Paris does... So ... Chris: Last time on TDGT... **all of what he says is censored* First Class, Team Amazon

(I won, right?)

Courtney: (is relaxing in the seat) Ah, first class. How nice to be reunited with victory.

Courtney: (peeks at Cody, who is taking some cookies from the flight attendant) Are you going to change out of that skirt anytime soon?

Cody: Maybe.

--> Cody: Izzy's skirt is actually very comfy. (bends) And flexible, too. (jiggles eyebrows)

Gwen: So long as he keeps his skirt on. (Cody blushes)

 Economy Class (Chris and Victory)

Izzy: (is talking to Noah while Alejandro is flirting with the Victory girls) So Noah! How about that Amazon challenge, fun huh?

Noah: I don't think you know what actually happened last episode....

Izzy: Did I miss something? IZZY MUST KNOW!!! (Noah whispers to Izzy what happened) .... Oh Jesus, that's messed up... even for Izzy...

--> Gwen: Cody's chances with my were low before, but experiencing that just lowered them deeper than Tartarus.

Lindsay: OHMIGAWD. Alejandro you are so HAWT

Alejandro: You're just saying that. Truly my beauty doesn't hold a candle to any of you lovely ladies.

Owen: (tries talking to Izzy, she's busy talking to Noah. He slumps away)

---> Owen: Izzy and Noah are my best buds! And now THEY'RE best buds. ... (smiles) That's good, right?

Ezekiel: (sitting with Owen) Man, why do the girls like him eh?

Owen: Al is great, dude! He's like the coolest person since Duncan.

DJ: I don't know, he seems kind of shady....

Owen: That's kind of racist, DJ.

Chris: (teleports everyone to Paris) I love that superpower of teleportation that I have and nobody questions.... anyway, Paris France! Every team has a statue they must assemble! Amazon gets David! Chris gets Venus, Victory gets Thinker!

Gwen: David? Is that a naked guy?


Chris: Don't worry Gwen. The legal department says if you get too trauamatized today, we have to console you. We now have an onset therapist.

Mama DJ: Yo!

Gwen: (sigh) Fine.

DJ: (starts assembling) MAM MAM* MAMA*

Alejandro: Venus. Such beauty. Compares a bit to you, Izzy. (Izzy blushes)

Chris; Enoygh creepiness, CITY OF LOVE CHALLENGE. GO!

--> Gwen: I've been thinking about this whole mess. I mean, Cody j***ing ON MY FACE for one thing, and now I have to handle naked body parts? Does the universe want me to lose my virginity?! (stops being angry and ponders for a while) ...does it?

--->Mama DJ: *enters her confessional* Don't make the same mistakes I did, baby

--> Gwen: AH! Get out!

Cody: (Team Amazon is looking for their pieces) Ah, Paris. It's so beautiful, you just want to forget all the gross, intrusive things that have happened to you, eh, Gwen?

Alejandro: (gets to the lasers with his team) Quick! Noah! Go through the lasers. Izzy could burn herself, Owen's too fat and I'm too gorgeous....

Gwen: (gives him a look and fast walks away)

Noah: Ugh... fine. *goes through the lasers*

--> Cody: I'm not giving up on Gwen! She's too awesome to lose because of my mistakes. I'm gonna win her back.

Ezekiel: (walks up to Cody) Bro, how did you do that? Bridgette won't let me near her face? I've had to do it on a picture I took of her

Owen: *scoots over* Can I get in on this conversation?

Cody: I didn't know. It just felt so good with the EpiPen up my- (stares at Owen)

Bridgette: (gets a piece) GUYS. I HAVE A PIECE

Izzy: *searches for pieces*

Courtney: (looks for pieces near some paintings)

Noah: Got it! *begins moving back through the lasers*

DJ: (meets a local)

French Person: Hello! I am french. oh ho ho!

> DJ: Anyone else feeling... bloodthirsty?

--->Izzy: (pokes her head in his confessional) Only like, all the time!

DJ: (grabs a piece, not realizing Izzy is there, and stabs the man to death)

French Person; Oh ho holy SH** *dies*

Izzy: *grabs one of her team's pieces from the carnage* Yay! ... I approve, DJ.

Courtney: (approaches Gwen) Gwen. Are you okay?

Gwen: Yeah. I just can't get the image out of my head.

Team Chris 2 pieces Team Amazon 0 pieces Team Victory 1 piece

DJ: (grabs a piece and brings it back, adds it to Bridgette;s)

Courtney: (hands her a picture of David) Then get THIS image INTO your head.

Owen: *runs over to Izzy* Izzy! You got a piece! Good jo(she cuts him off)

Gwen:'s better than the alternative. (smirks and looks for pieces)

Lindsay: (trips over a piece) OW. This stupid head tripped me! (keeps walking)

Izzy: No time for congraulating! (Noah delivers the piece)) NOAH! Great job, buddy! (hugs him)

---> Owen: Wow... they're better buddies than I thought....

Cody: (passes Lindsay, notices a head) Hey! (picks it up) It's David's head!

Cody: (to Gwen) HEY GWEN! I guess you can say we're getting a-head! ...heh.

Gwen: (glares and walks away)

---> Izzy: I just need Noah to feel comfy and cozy around us until he can be himself! Yay!

Lindsay: (walks back, and takes the head, breaking it) IT DESERVES TO DIEEE

--> Cody: I told that girl a pun. Girls love puns. Cody: Lindsay! That was for our team! No fair!

Mama DJ: (nudges Gwen) Boy told a pun, baby. (bounces her eyebrows)

Gwen: Why are you following me?


Courtney: (runs up to Chris) Chris, Lindsay is cheating. She broke the head of our David! ...the one on top.

Alejandro: (sees a piece hanging from the ceiling) Hmm... (does a triple backflip and grabs it) Hah! I always can count on my skills to retrieve..... (looks at the piece) The OTHER TEAMS piece? Ay carumba! (Leshawna walks into the area)

Chris: Hmmm... well, you could just use the severed head of that dead french guy over there....?

-----> Bridgette: I think Ezekiel is trying to have sex with me he's always- (interrupted by music)

Courtney: That counts? (shrugs and takes it anyway)

Courtney: (gives the head to Gwen) Here, does this make you feel better?

Gwen: (smiles deviously) Tons.

Chris: (turns to the camera) DO NOT TRY ANY OF WHAT YOU SEE HERE! These actions are done by ANIMATED, MORBID, TEENS!

(I briefly considered necophilia but that may be pushing it)

Leshawna: ALEJANDRO. I need your help

Alejandro: Help finding... this? (hands her her team's statue head)

Leshawna: Thank you! But no, i needed help cause boy. I AM HORNAY (struts away with head)

Courtney: Okay, we have a we need to find the other pieces.

Cody: Oh ladies! (comes back with the lower half of David)

Alejandro: ... (keeps the head) ... Okay then. (smiles deviously and hides the head behind a statue behind a statue behind a statue)

Courtney: Perfect! We just need the final piece now.

Bridgette: Okay guys! We only need the head now!

Noah: (reaches the court. They have three out of five pieces) Okay, Mister Perfect should show up any minute with the last two pieces.

Cody: No (points to statue piece) "butts" about it! Right, Gwen?

Owen: You don't like Al? But he's so cool! Like Duncan!

Gwen: (growls and walks away, throwing Courtney the severed head)

Noah: Since when was Duncan cool?

--> Cody: ...Oh. Wrong thing to pun with.

(Oh for jesus christ Cody. Puns aren't attractive)

Courtney: (pats Gwen) Ignore him. Look, (points to the mummy exhibit) Check over there for some pieces.

Alejandro: (walks out of the mummy exhibit with his team's torso) Hello Gwen. Are you allright?

Ezekiel: (looking where Alejandro and Leshawna were)

Gwen: I'm fine. (checks another tomb and gets the piece. Begins walking away)

Gwen: Why were you inside of a tomb anyway?

Gwen: Because of your dead personality?

Gwen: GAH! Cody's got my doing puns, now.

  • me

Alejandro: (laughs nervously) Ah Gwen. I'm always fascinated by the morbid things in life.

(OMG I HAVE THOUGHT OF THE BEST THING EVER) (Girls, just want to have puns)

Gwen: ....really? Same here. I'm a little bit thrilled by horros stuff, you know?

---> Alejandro: I must be careful around Gwen. She picks up on things too quickly for my taste. And for her own good.

Bridgette: Did you find it Ezekiel?

Gwen: Look, I need to get back to Courtney and Cody...

Alejandro: I as well. I'm glad we had this talk. (leaves)

Noah: (Alejandro arrives at the court with one piece) Al? One piece? (shakes his head)

Bridgette: (walks up to Alejandro) May I talk to you for a minute?

Alejandro: (hands his team the piece then follows Bridgette) Yes, chica?

--> Gwen: What was that? Alejandro is gunning for ME now? I'm not into guys like that. I mean, if he likes horror stuff, we can get along platonically, like I do with Duncan. (beat) Because I wouldn't have a relationship with Duncan.

Noah: (whispers to Owen and Izzy) See what I mean? Always slithering off.... (gasps) And we still need the head!

Bridgette: Do you know why Ezekiel is acting so weird? You two are friends, right?

Izzy: (puts her hand in for a team cheer) On the count of three. Three cheers for getting head! (Noah facepalms)

Gwen: I got a torso!

Cody: I guess-


  • ?!

Alejandro: Ezekiel? I have not had the time to speak with him. I spent more of my time talking with people like you.

--> Cody: I thought it was funny.

--> Cody: I was going to tell her not to "waist" any time.

Bridgette: (blushes) Thanks anyway (kisses his cheek)

Cameraman: UGH! NO! (drops camera)

Courtney: (holds up another piece) I got the fourth piece earlier by a giant bear with a chainsaw. (beat) Don't ask.

  • from

Alejandro: (looks behind the staues and picks up Team Victory's head) Oh, it appears I found something of yours. (hands it to Bridgette)

Bridgette: Thanks! Is there anything I can do for you in return?

Courtney: We need one more piece.

Cody: (steps up heroically) I'LL find it!

Alejandro: As a matter of fact... (whispers into her ear)

Leshawna: Sorry little buddy, it's not in your pants (whisper me it 2.0)

Courtney: I was going to say we all check different areas of the museum for it.

Cody: Can I help, Gwen?

Gwen: (to Cody) Why don't you go...far, far away (points) over there?

Cody: Can't we go together? Come on, give me a chance... (puppy dog eyes OnO)

Gwen: GAH! Alright, just stop with the face. (They go off together)

Courtney: I'll go over there. (goes in Team Chris's direction) (Cody and Gwen are walking past some paintings)

Cody: Gwen, listen. You know I didn't mean to do that to you.

Gwen: I know that, Cody. It's just that you're trying way too hard to try to attract me. I don't like that.

Cody: Oh....well, what DO you like?

Bridgette: (gasps) She said that?!?!!?

Bridgette: Oh she is gone!

Gwen: I'm just not really attracted to you, Cody. I'm sorry. (walks further ahead)

Alejandro: I'm afraid so... You must do something. i wouldn't want to risk anything awful coming between you and your "kinda" boyfriend.

Cody: (sigh)

Bridgette: (hugs him) Thanks for telling me (walks off with head)

--> Cody: I guess being creepy and overbearing ISN'T how to win over a girl. I should maybe back down a little. I'm not going to become (shudders) Sierra...

Gwen: (sees a piece) The last piece!

Owen: (walks by Cody and Gwen and gives Cody a thumbs up. Owen then grabs his team's final piece attached to a painting)

Alejandro: (rushes back to the court) Where's the final piece!?

Sierra (at home): I WISH HE JIZZED ON ME D:

Owen: (runs in and tosses it to Noah, which is caught by Izzzy) Got it, Al!

Bridgette: (puts final piece on) WE'RE DONE!

Noah: Okay, let's assemble! (Team Chris begins assmbling fast due to everyone being there with all pieces) (they build) (they build) (they build fast) (so close) (oh my gosh) (done)

(She runs up to it, and Sasquawatchinakwa approaches her)

Sas: RAWR!

Gwen: Ahh!

Alejandro: That was one heck of a montage.

(Sas grabs Gwen)

Noah: Yeah....

Gwen: (is dangling and trying to kick away Sas) HELP!

Cody: Gwen?!

(Wait, team amazon lost? ;-;)

Cody: (runs up to Sas, it roars at him)

Cody: I'll save you, Gwen!

Sas: RAWR!

Cody: (gulps) ...somehow...

Cody: (runs up to Sas, it roars at him)

Cody: I'll save you, Gwen!

Sas: RAWR!

Cody: (gulps) ...somehow...

Cody: (to himself Quick, Cody, how do you stop this thing in its tracks? I can't fight it off, I'm too small. I need another way. Maybe if I shock it...(gets an idea) HEY SASQUATCHINAKWA!

Sas: Hmm? (turns its head)

Cody: Gwen, look away.

Gwen: Ho boy. (looks away)


Cody: (drops his skirt) TAKE A GANDER AT THIS, PAL!

Sas: AHHH! MY EYES! (drops Gwen and runs away)

Gwen: (falls) Ow!

Cody: (runs up) Are you okay? And is our piece safe?

Team Chris: (enters the room. Alejandro, Owen, Noah, and Izzy gasp...Noah blushes, Izzy cheers, Alejandro and Owen look away)

Izzy: Skirt power!

Gwen: (gets up) I'm fine. (her eyes are still closed) Is your skirt up yet?

Cody: (pulls it up) It is now.

Gwen: sure?

Cody: Yes!

Sas: (growls and turns around, pulling Cody's skirt down again)

Gwen: Okay, fine: (opens her eyes and screams, kicking Cody in the bare kiwis) NOT! FUNNY! (storms away)

Gwen: (gives Courtney the piece) /Here.

Courtney: Good. (assembly, blah blah blah)

Courtney: We finally did it! Phew.

Cody: Um, but I thought Team Chris was before us...

Courtney: WHAT?!

Gwen and Cody: (cover their ears)

Courtney: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (screams so loud all of Paris can hear)

Chris: And three cheers for a great performance by everyone! Hip Hip! (Courtney screams, Izzy yells "head")

Bridgette: (glares at Leshawna)

Bridgette: (puts on final peice) Oh shoot. Did we lose?

From the looks of it, DJ found a piece, Bridgette found two. That's all...

Chris: Team Victory... you seem to be missing a few pieces... (Sorry Gleek ;n;)

Chris: And saved from elimination, the Amazons make it! ...As do Chris.

(2.0, when you copy it, maybe you should copy each line to paste to avoid formatting nonsense? Or would that be too much work?)

Too much work.

Gwen: Courtney, chill! We're pergatory.

Courtney: ...alright.

Chris: Team Victory... elimination awaits y'all.


Chris: Team Victory... you were on a roll since you lost Harold. .. But now someone must join him below. Please vote.

----> Bridgette: i know who i'm eliminating

Chris: Okay... here comes the barf bags!!!

(OOH! We should make DoS videos)

Glitter Gurl has left the chat.

Bridgette: (smirks)

Chris: One for Bridgette. One for Ezekiel.. shocker.


Chris: One for.... DJ?.... seriously? He killed people...

Chris: Whatever. Good for ratings....

Chris: And the final barf bag goes to...



  • throws Leshawna her barf bag*

Lindsay: Why did I lose? I thought the prettiest one always won! We were voting for the prettiest one right? Thats why I changed all the votes to me!

Chris: :O.... Well... it WAS Paris...

Lindsay: (jumps and screams)

Chris: And our bombshell bombs once again from the game! Who will go next time? Will DJ claim more lives? Will Cody win over Gwen? Is that question need to even be asked? Find out next time on TOTAL DRAMA GURL TOUR!

Cody: Cody: A MAN CAN TRY!

Mama DJ: (is also tossed off the plane) MAH BOI!!!!

Newf Host On Da RocksEdit

Chris: Last time on NOT TALKING ABOUT NAKED PEOPLE!!!..... We went to Paris. Our cast collected statue pieces and put them together. Lindsay lost. Who will go next. Find out!

Team Chris (First Class)

Owen: (scarfing down food) Oh! The food! It's so good! SOOO GOOOD! I could die up here and be happy about it!

Izzy: (in massage chair) I'm so relaxed I feel normal...

Noah: Like that'll happen.

Alejandro: (is eating fruit) Breakfast of champions, am I right, my morsels?

Noah: What? No flirting with the other teams? Not taking any cookies back to them?

Alejandro: Noah, I wish to spend time with my team, is that so wrong?

---> Alejandro: I suspect that some people suspect my suspicious flirtation method. I will try my best to avoid any flirting today. Just to let tensions die down. But Noah.... what is on HIS mind?

Economy Class (Amazon and Victory) 
(Courtney and Gwen and pretty PO'd about their situation. Cody is looking over and decides to check them out)

Cody: So...girls....

Gwen: (glances at him, then ignores him)

Bridgette: (walks over to leshawna) I know what you did. And you have to stop

Cody: Gwen, I'm sorry for squirting at you and exposing myself accidentally.

Gwen: I know it was an accident. I just kind of want to be alone with my thoughts. 
 Cody: Alright. I can dig that. I'll let you be alone.

Gwen: (looks over at him) Really? You're not going to hound me?

Cody: I'll give you some privacy this time.


Chris: (teleports them to Newfoundland. They land in water)

--> Cody: I've learned that going after Gwen too much always leads to disaster. So I'll admire her gorgeous bod from a distance.

Leshawna: MY HAIR

Chris: Welcome to Newfoundland! THE LAND WHERE I'M AWESOME! Take boats to the beach house where we'll get drunk and have no elimination!!!!

Courtney: The magic of animation is really pissing me off! Luckily, I was a CI- (is bitten mby shakr and dragged underwater)

Gwen and Cody: (are shocked) Courtney!

  • by shark

DJ: Mama says I'm not supposed to get drunk. thats how I was concived

--> Gwen: Underage drinking? I'm both disappointed and a little impressed.

(Team Victory gets on a boat and starts going there) 
(Gwen and Cody get on their boat)

Cody: We're not saving her?

Noah: Let me guess, Izzy. You're planning on getting me drunk to get me to come out of the closet, right?

Gwen: The great and powerful CIT can take care of herself.

Cody: But she caressed you when you were mentally scarred!

Izzy: Nah... that sounds unreasonable. I wouldn't do that to you, Noah.

Gwen:'re right... (gives him the rudder) Take this. I'll go after her. (dives in)

---> Noah: What did that massage chair do to her head? Izzy? Norman?

  • normal

Cody: ...what do I do now? 
(Alejandro and Owen get in the boat. They pull Noah and Izzy in too)

Cody: (looks both ways and starts singing) Cause I love to see you beam, beam, beam...yes I do.

Noah: (hums along)

Gwen: (is swimming back) Courtney!

Courtney: (is fighting the shark) Take that, fishy!

Team Victory: (arrives at shore)

--> Courtney: Last season, I beat the crap out of a shark. I guess I haven't changed. (smiles smugly)

Team Victory: (at the wrong shore)

Courtney: SWIM! (They swim away from the shark and see Cody singing)

(Team Victory's boat crashed onto the wrong shore and killed some locals... they pull away from the shore before the cops arrive)

Gwen: (twitches) NO! MORE! PONY! MUSIC! (backhands the shark) (The girls swin up to Cody's boat)

Alejandro: Let's get out of here before his brininess spreads.

Courtney: Good! Now go!

Owen: (paddles. The boat starts moving away) Woo!

Team Victory: (behind everyone, paddeling slowly)

Shark: (rubs nose and follows them)

(The boat moves)

Gwen: (paddles harder)


Chris: You're all taking too long! (teleports them all to the boathouse) UNDERAGE DRINKING TIME!!! (throws them all apple cider... ... just apple cider)

Gwen: Cider, huh? (sniffs it) ...not too bad.

Ezekiel: I though we would be drinking beer, not cider

Chris: I can't legally! So I'll go get drunk elsewhere while my cousin, Jerd makes sure none of you do anything crazy! (leaves)

Courtney: (drinks the jug of cider)

Courtney: (smiles) Wow! That's...good!

Owen: GIMME! (grabs it and drinks)

Courtney: (takes another jug)

Noah: You gonna have some, Izzy?

Gwen: What, we can't have any?

Courtney: I'm the only one here who can hold all this liquor.

Cody: Courtney, you can't drnik all that cider!

Courtney: F**K YOU, I can't drink all this cider!

Meanwhile at Chris' party

Chris: I brought beer! (pulls out apple cider) Wait... if this is cider... where's the beer?

Back at party  
Bridgette: (drinks beer that she thinks is apple cider) This doesn't taste like cider guys 

Courtney: (is now drunk) Oh my god, guys....this is jusst so good...

Alejandro: (smirks) 

Bridgette: Is anyone else hot? I'm hot! (takes off shirt, only in bra now) 

Gwen: (grabs Courtney's arm) Courtney, you've drunk a LOT of cider.

Courtney: (smacks her away) I'M FYNE! 
I haven't has this good since...since I saw Duncan. 

Owen: *drunks* The gravity of this situation is appauling. Our lack of genteel attitude structure is appauling. 

Courtney: (burps) Wooowww. 

Owen: (gets drunker) Appppaaaauuullliiinnnggg..... 

Courtney: (stumbles over to Team Chris)

Noah: Umm... uncomfortable. (holds Izzy in front of Courtney) Help., 

Gwen: (looks at the cider, sniffs it) Wait...this isn't Cider! It's beer!

Leshawna: (twerking)

Courtney: (pets Izzy) Your hair is so fluffery.

Courtney: (notices Alejandro) 

Izzy: ...Hmm... So it is.

Alejandro: (smirks as Courtney stumbles over to him)

Courtney: (to Noah) Watch, Imm...Imma go talk ta 'im. (goes to Alejandro) Hiiiiii Sexy Mexy.


---> Alejandro: The fiercest competitor, drunk out of her mind, comes stumbling over to me. This is just a good time all gift wrapped and everything... (sisnister smile)

Noah: (Leshawna is twerking at Noah) Augh! Oh god! Help! 

Owen: Leeet me TRY! (twerks at Noah too)


Courtney: (blushing like crazy) Are you...siingle? 

Alejandro: Aboslutely. (dips her) And... are you? 

Courtney: ...I dunno. (giggles) 

Alejandro: (smirks) Thought so. 

Courtney: So, you wanna get outta Paris and go somewhere nicererer? 

Alejandro: (plays along) Mi amora, we can go wherever you want. (moves closer to her) 

Courtney: (kisses him and they fall to the floor. The Amazons watch this in awe) 

Izzy: Hmm... This is something.


Owen: Hey! Hey! Iizzzz... we. we should do.. do THAT. Huh? Huh Iz? 

Bridgette: (starts to cry) Just like me and Geoff used to dooooo

Izzy: (scoots away from Owen) Oh... Owen. ... Owen... uh.

--> Gwen: So, Courtney is too drunk for me to stop, about to do it with the most suspicious guy on the show, and slapping anyone who got in the way. I swear...this IS Jersey Shore.

Owen: How bout EET?! 

Gwen: Court, get a hold of yourself! (Courtney is not listening. She and Al are getting more dirty than Gidgette) 

Izzy: Owen... seeing the events of today unfold... I would like to take this time to express my feelings.

---> Noah:!?!?!?

Izzy: Owen. Care to sit down? 

Owen: Hehe... we're gonna sit and... stuff? Siit.

Izzy: (Owen sits and tries grabbing her at various times. She pushes him away. Noah watches all of this) 

Courtney:, what your name?

Izzy: Owen... This isn't working out... 

Bridgette: (sits next to Noah) Noah, are you gay? 

Alejandro: Alejandro. Remember it. (kisses Courtney) 

(Jerd is watching... he's just... watching...Nope. DJ killed him by now)

Courtney: Mmkay, Alelelele, you treat me better than....donut...guy... 

Alejandro: (shushes her) I hate donuts.

Chris: (shows up) What challenge? (everyone stops)

Bridgette: (sits next to Noah) Are you gay? 

Courtney: (keeps trying to kiss Al) 

Chris: Okay! Episode over! We're not airing this episode! Your parents will kill me!

Noah: Since when have angry parents stopped you before? 


Courtney: But Al and I were having funs! (Al twitches)

Noah: (scoots away from Bridgette) None of your business.

Alejandro: AlEJANDRO.... (ignores Chris)

Chris: Are you two having sex in my presence? -_- 

Courtney: (giggles) Your name is all funny.

Bridgette: (straddles Noah) Because i don't want to get funky with a gay guy

Noah: D: *is disturbed* Help me, someone.

Owen: *is shocked by what Izzy said* 

Cody: I'll save you, Noah!

Izzy: We're breaking up. 

Cody: (pats Owen) It's okay, big guy.

Dj: (outside, stabbing trees)

---> Noah: Wow... in Izzy's only sane moments... she breaks up with Owen... she really IS SANE!

Locals Dressed as Trees: WTF NOOO!!!! *die* 

Bridgette: (tries to kiss Noah) 

Gwen: Maybe I need a drink. (starts to take a swig) 

Dj: (outside, stabbing Locals)

Noah: *gets kissed* Augh! No! Not interested! *finds excuse* Geoff! What about Geoff?


Cody: (grabs her hand) No, Gwen. As much as I'd like to see you not thinking, I want you protected. 

Gwen's Mother: GWEN!

Gwen: MOM?!

Bridgette: (cries) HE DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE (puts head on Noah's shoulder) I'm so lonely

Noah: (points to DJ) Hey! Look! Someone not me… (DJ is killing stuff) Nevermind… uh… 

(Gwen's mother has entered the pub)

Gwen's Mother: Gwen... put down that 

Courtney: Mommy? 

Gwen: What...I wasn't going to drink it! 
 Gwen: And how did you get to Newfoundland?

Gwen: And where's my brother?

Gwen's Mother: We LIVE here, Gwen... oh sweetie. You're already... *puts her hands over her face* 
 Gwen: (sigh) 
 Gwen's Mother: Your brother is back home. Bless his heart, he was watching the show when he saw his own sister... drinking!

Gwen: I barely had a sip.

Gwen: (points to Courtney) It's her you should be worried about.

Bridgette: THIS IS LIVE?

Gwen's Mother: Mr. Mclean! I would like a word with you...

Chris: (is yanked outside by the ear) 
 Courtney: (stops loving Alejandro for a second) Ooh, you gonna get in troooouble. 
 Gwen's Mother: (walks back inside) Oh, and Courtney. I don't know if you can understand me at all... but your OWN mother has some concerns. 
 Bridgette: Noah (half-asleep on him) I miss Geoff. I'm sorry for hitting on you and your p****

Noah: You couldn't have picked a worse time to flirt... 
 Courtney: Mommy? Am I in trooooouble?

Courtney's Mom: (enters) Courtney Amelia Brown!

Courtney: (looks around) Courtney, sommons callin you...

C's Mom: Young lady I have NEVER been so dissapointed in one of my OWN children! I expected this from a loser family! NOT you! (pulls Courtney up) I am going to take this matter straight to court where it belongs! 

Courtney: ...loser? I'm...not a loser...


TWO hours later back at pub

Courtney: (is starting to come to her senses) ...where am I? And why are my pants unzipped?! (zips up her pants) 

Gwen's Mother: Okay, listen up everyone! Chris has been fired... 

Courtney: Ow...did we win? 

Gwen's Mother: And I'll be taking his place. And NO drinking, NO sex, and NO j***ing in my daughters face, yes Cody I am looking at you. 1

Cody: (blushes)

Gwen's Mom: Now... back to the plane.

Cody: Then who won?! 1

=== Dining Area ===

Bridgette: (asleep on table)

Courtney: WHAT did I do?!

Gwen's Mom: I hate to do this to you all... but you're all being grounded for the events of today's challenge.

Gwen: How can you even do that?

Gwen's Mom: I;m the host now, sweetheart. :3 I still love you.

Bridgette: Are we all stuck in Economy clas? 

Courtney: (holds her head) Ow. Nooooise.

Gwen's Mom: Yes. 

All: (groan) 

Noah: Well... that was quite the turnout. 

Courtney: DANG! We lost! (holds head) OW!

Owen: (sobbing loudly) Izzzzzzyyyy!!!!!

Gwen's Mom: (takes a crobar from DJ) And toy you have lost your toy priveliges. 

Bridgette: Noah, I want to apologize. It just seems as if Geoff doesn't love me anymore. 


Noah: You can't possibly know that. He's probably back home rooting for you. 

Gwen: Courtney, are you okay? 

Bridgette: He never writes me anymore. He used to all the time 

Courtney: Ugh. I just hurt everywhere. 

Alejandro: (has been sitting silently) .... 

Cody: You got dirty. Really dirty.

Courtney: Can...can you explain that again?

Cody: Well, you drank about four bottles of beer disguised as cider, stumbled around, slapped Gwen, and eventually lay down with- 

---> Alejandro: Well.. (smirks) That wraps that up. I must say, she knew how to how to. That couldn't have been Courtney's first time. 

Dj: (sits next to Alejandro) You okay Bro? 

Alejandro: (leans back and smiles) Never better, actually. 

Ezekiel: No duh he's on cloud nine. HE GOT LAID.  

Bridgette: (offers to shake his hand) Friends again?

Noah: Sure. Why not? (shakes her hand) 

---> Noah: No wonder my aunt blocks my cousins from watching this show…

--> Courtney: I just want to say, whatever happened, I was intoxicated at the time and therefore not sane at the time of whatever happened. I'm just glad I got rid of Chris the creep. You're welcome. 

Gwen's Mom: I'm sorry to baby you all... but you know what you've all done. And I will make sure nothing like this happens again. ... Oh.. Courtney, sweetheart, can you come with me for a minute? 

Courtney: ...Sure. Dang, I hurt everywhere. (Gwen follows) 
Gwen's Mother: (hands her a packet) This is ... a pregnancy test. I want you to make sure, okay? ... (ushers Courtney away) Use the packet in about a week. Okay? And Gwen... I want you to keep an eye on her.

Gwen: Yeah, Mom. (They leave)

--> Courtney: Wow. Did I....No, that's ridiculous. I wouldn't cheat on Duncan, even if I were drunk...would I? 

Gwen's Mother: (confessional) That poor girl.... ... Her pain must be unimmaginable for most people.... most people.

--> Gwen: So now I'm in charge of Courtney, making sure Alejandro didn't knock her up. I guess I should have stopped her...Is this my fault?

Owen: (is still sobbing)

--> Gwen: Oh, crap, my mom's watching everything I do now.

------> Ezekiel: I wish Courtney had sex with me, not Al. 

Gwen's Mother: (is in the cockpit with Chef, Chef is flying the plane) Oh.. I have to sign off... ahem... Who will win? Who will lose? Find out... later.

Jamaica Me HornayEdit

Ella (Gwen's Mom): Last time on.. oh skip it, please. 
 Economy Class, Everyone

LeShawna: Well, this sucks. (to Gwen) I didn't know your mom was so strict, girl.

Gwen: She's not strict, just really overprotective.

Owen: (sobs)

Cody: What's the matter, Owen?

Izzy: (scoots away from Owen) What's Big O upset about?

Noah: Um... you broke up with him.

Izzy: (smiles) Oh yeah. (takes a deep breath) Ah. The single life smells so good!

Noah: And less like farts?

Izzy: Speaking of single issues. (Izzy yells over to Courtney) HEY COURT! How ya holdin up!?

Courtney: I'm fine. Don't worry.

Gwen: You sure?

Courtney: (pushes her away) I'm FINE. I can take care of myself.

Alejandro: (pats Owen on the back) Amigo, are you allright? ... You need company... or even better (lowers his voice) Revenge?

Owen: Revenge? I hated that show.

Alejandro: Not season 4. Revenge on Noah for stealing Izzy.

Owen: He STOLE Izzy? (Alejandro makes Owen lower his voice)

Alejandro: Yes. And if you were to aid me in eliminating Noah, your actions would be justified.

--> Gwen: I'm in charge of making sure Courtney is safe after what happened in Newfoundland. We're bonding a little. It's weird. Since when did Courtney become nice...or needed to be taken care of? This show has been getting progressively weirder.

---> Alejandro: I can't have someone like Noah on my team snooping around. I've already got Courtney to worry about. Ugh, I do not claim responsibility for HER actions.

Ezekiel: This is whack, yo. All this teenage party thing. Parties are for chumps, right Bridgette?

Bridgette: (is sad) ...I guess.

Ezekiel: Especially those who throw parties... those kind are the worst, eh. They don't deserve girlfriends. Not a single one, eh.

--> Bridgette: Lately, I've been missing Geoff a little more. I don't know if he lost contact with me or what.

Bridgette: I know what you're trying to do, Zeke. I'm not losing all my faith in Geoff to hang out with you. ...not yet.

Gwen's Mom: (enters economy class) Okay kids... apparently I have to press this button... *presses the teleport button. They all teleport to Jamaicca*

DJ: No! My home!

Cody: There's a button for that?

Ezekiel: What's wrong with your home, eh?

DJ: Oh crap! I'm freaking out! (hugs his team close) Keep me from killing... SAVE THESE GOOD PEOPLE!!!

Gwen: Calm down. Just don't stab any trees this time.

Gwen's Mother: Okay, your challenge here... is to leap into the bay's water. Pick up chef's bling and bring it to the surface. Oh, there WERE sharks, but I removed them in case any one "special" (winks at Courtney) should get Hurt.

Gwen's Mother: Um.. go. 
(Everyone is in their swimsuits. Also, Chef is in a dashiki)

Owen: (pushes Noah into the bay first. Noah falls and screams) Oops. (Alejandro snickers)

Bridgette: Nice, another water challenge. Count me in. (jumps into the bay)

LeShawna: You go, girl

---> Owen: Noah stole my girlfriend! My little buddy! Well... I don't really like that. Al is my new little buddy!

Cody: I'll jump in first. I have to help my team! (belly flops into the water)

Noah: (crawls up the bay) Nothing. (gasps for breath)

Cody: (is swimming...emerges...there is only an eel on his head. t shocks him.)

Gwen: Eels?! (to her mom) You forgot about the eels?!

Izzy: You gave it your best shot Noahbear! (leaps into the water head first) YAYAYA!!!

Gwen's Mother: .... I'm new to this, sweety.

Gwen: I understand. (dives in)

Owen: (Noah is passed out already) We're so gonna get so much revenge! Right Al? Al? Al? A(Alejandro covers his mouth)

Courtney: (shouts down to Gwen) Did you get anything?!

Gwen: (has popped up) Nothing!

Cody: (emerges with an eel wearing the gold chains)

Cody: I think I found something!

Bridgette: (underwater)

Eel: You can't handle this swag, motha.

Izzy: (runs up the hill with silver chains) Woo Woo! I got em! (holds up silver chains)

Gwen: ...I don't know how to respond to that. 
 Gwen's Mother: Hey! (points to eel) Language!


Eel: Oh crap! (dives back under)

Gwen: Our chains! (follows the eel underwater)

Courtney: Are you guys okay?!

Alejandro: Those are silver, Izzy... (Izzy shrugs and passes out on top of Noah) What did you ever see in her? (Owen gasps) I mean... she's a jerk for deserting you. (Owen smiles. Alejandro leaps into the water)

Gwen: (emerges with the chains. Cody has the eel. He is shocked again.)

Gwen: (races up to Courtney) I got them! (they high five)

Courtney: Great job, Gwen! ...where's Cody?

Gwen's Mother: Now part two.... where's DJ?

Cody: (zap) Down here! (zap)

DJ: (has stabbed five locals) WWWHHHYYYYY!?!?!?!!?

Gwen's Mother: (pulls out her cell phone) Pardon me for a second. .... Hello? ... Police?

--> Courtney: I think DJ needs to see someone about his little killing sprees.

DJ: Are you calling the police?

Gwen's Mother: ... Yes. You DID just murder someone, DJ. I'm sorry. (The RCMP flies over in a helicopter)

RCMP Guy: You are under arrest for killing people all over the country!

Izzy: Don't let em take you alive, DJ!!!

Other RCMP Guy: Hey, do we know you? (to Izzy)

Dj: What? No! (runs)

Izzy: (puts on false moustache) ...No.

Other RCMP Guy: Oh, good. (to friend) Take him away.

RCMP Guy: (shoots a tranq dart at DJ)

DJ: (passes out)

(The RCMP guys take DJ into their helicopter)

RCMP Guy: (to Chef) Nice dress.

Bridgette: Great. We just lost a team member

Chef: *blushes*

Gwen: ...well that was awkward.

Gwen's Mother: I'm sorry... he was killing people. What was I supposed to do?

Courtney: And familiar.

Gwen: Oh, yeah. (gives Chef the gold chains) You wanted these?

Gwen's Mother: Just stand their and let people die? Is that what Chris did?

Gwen: More or less.

Ezekiel: Well now I'm with the two hottests girls on the show (puts arms around them both, being inches shorter)

Gwen's mother: To the next challenge.


Courtney: Wait, we won, right?

=== Everyone is at the jamaican bobsled roller ramp ==

Cody: How did you build that so quickly?

B: (waves at everyone)

Ezekiel: Nice Bling bro

Gwen's Mother: Team Amazon won the prize so they get helmets. And one person on their team gets full body armor. (eyes Gwen) I should think your choice for who gets it should be obvious...

Gwen: (sigh) Fine. (gives the armor to Courtney) Here.

Bridgette: Isn't this dangerous?

Gwen's Mother: So... partner up in groups of two and we'll get underway.

Leshawna: Yeah girl, this could mess up mah weave

Gwen's Mother: .... Put those with three people on their team shall be one group.

--> Courtney: Wait, does Ella think I', no.

Cody: Cool, three people means more force. We can go fast, right?

Cody: (starts humming "Gotta Go Fast")

Alejandro: Owen, care to bobsled with your buddy? (Owen prepares to argue. Al nudges him)

Leshawna: Who's going first?

Owen: Oh,.... okay, Al. That's a great idea, Al.

Courtney: (eying Team Chris) We're beating them. We have to beat them. 
 Owen: (grabs Noah) We're on the same bobsled (angrily mumbles) LITTLE BUDDY!!!!

Noah: My throat (gasps for air)

Noah: (Owen and Noah start on the ramp. They fly down the bobsled ramp and fly into a pool. Owen body slammed Noah)

Owen; Hehe... oops.

Noah: , spp..pleeen.

Cody: Is he okay?

Izzy: Aw! That's so sweet you care for him. He's appreciate that.

Alejandro: Why's that?

Cody: (gives her an awkward look) Yeah, why?

Izzy: (talks to Cody and Alejandro only) I'm pretty Noah's in the closet for Cody.

Cody: ...Wait, you mean...(blushes) ...whoa. Heh, I'm...not really sure how to react to that.

Alejandro: My thoughts exactly... (smirks)

--> Cody: I have an eye for the ladies. Noah's okay and all, I mean, he did kiss my ear that one time, but I'm not into that. How do I tell him? 
 ---> Alejandro: Usually, this is a subject where one does not interfere with the emotions of others.... but jeopordizing and humiliating others is just what I do. (laughs)

---> Izzy: I probably shouldn't have told anyone that. Oh well. Alejandro and Cody are trusty enough, right? 
(The other two Amazons walk up to Cody)

Courtney: Come on, Cody. Get on the sled. (throws him a helmet)

Gwen's mother: Careful!

Courtney: (yells back) I will be! (to Gwen) Your mom is really hounding me.

Gwen: She's probably worried about what happened in Newfoundland. That you weren't safe or something.

Courtney: I think she's overreacting a little.

Gwen: Well, she's sensitive to that kind of stuff.

Courtney: Why?

Gwen: Just get ready for the challenge.

Gwen's Mother: And go!

Courtney: Why is there no water in here?

Gwen's Mother: I said i was new... Victory, your turn.

Bridgette: (gets in front)

Ezekiel & Leshawna: (gets behind her) Bridgette: Will we die from this?

Bridgette: Are we going to die from this?

Gwen's Mother: Of course not. We have medics on set. (the medics were killed by DJ before he left) ...

Leshawna: Do you have a weave kit? Cause I need my weave in good shape 
(Team Victory makes it to the bottom very quickly. Round two goes by fast. The scores are tallied before round 3) Gwen/s Mother: ... Hmm from the looks of it, Team Chris doesn't have a chance at winning. Their score is so low. But Amazon and Victory are tied.

Noah: We would have gone faster is Owen was steering and gripping the bobsled instread of my throat!

Courtney: (smiles) Just as I thought.

Owen: (pushes Noah) Not little buddy!

Bridgette: (smiles at Courtney) Good luck!

Gwen's Mother: But team Chris... if you get a perfect score, you can win.

Noah: (to Owen) We'd better win then.

--> Courtney: As much fun as I had with Alejandro, I'm still a little ticked that he used me like that. So I'm glad Team Chris is really, really, really, really screwed. (smirks)

Owen: Try not to steal the bobsled's love!

Izzy: Wut?

Gwen's Mom: So, order is Team Victory, Team Amazon, then Team Chris.

Gwen's Mom: Now go.

Leshawna: Ooh gurl. This is just like when my best friend, Laquesha, stole my other best friend, Vajala's weave. They fought for hours and then we all got mcdonalds

Team Victory: (bobsleds) 
(The power of mcdonalds propels them. They finish fast)

Gwen's Mother: Now team Amazon.

---> Alejandro: Time to throw someone off their A game.

Courtney: Ready?

Gwen: Ready.

Alejandro: Pats Cody on the back) Good luck, mi amigo. (takes a fishing line and hooks it to Cody's shorts before they bobsled)

Cody: Thanks.

---> Alejandro: It'll hurt Noah, Gwen AND Cody's reputation. Perfect... (We are) 
(Oh sweet jesus. This again.) (Cody's swimsuit is pulling) (It rips off)

Alejandro: (hands the fishing line to owen) Hold this.

Owen: :O 
(No one sees yet)

Cody: Why do I feel a breeze... (looks down) Oh crap!

Leshawna: (adjusting her weave) Ezekiel: (staring at Bridgette's ass) Bridgette: (staring at Alejandro's ass) 
(They keep moving. Cody is in the back, so no one sees. Yet.) (They reach the pool.)

Alejandro: (starring at Noah stare at Cody)

Noah: :O

Gwen: YES!- (sees Cody) Gah!

Alejandro: >:)

Owen: *toots*

Gwen: Get away from me!

Cody: No, Gwen, seriously!

Gwen: What are you, cursed? 
(Team Amazon look up and see Owen holding a fishing line with Cody's shorts on them)

Gwen: Seriously! DJ kills everyone and you FLASH everyone?

Bridgette: (runs up and covers her eyes) DUN LOOK

Courtney: Hey....what's Owen doing with Cody's shorts? (TA stomps over to Owen)

Owen: But... My buddy Al (Alejandro nudges him) .... ?

Gwen: Not cool, Owen! (kicks him in the kiwis)


Owen: AUGH! That smarts! (falls over)

Cody: What the heck, man?! Now I have even LESS of a chance!

Courtney: (just shakes her head)

Noah: (is red in the face) Yeah... ...

Gwen's Mother: Now it's Team Chris' turn!

Ezekiel: Noah, your pants look a little tight on ya 
(Noah and Owen prepare to bobsled down. They do. Owen is gripping Noah's throat while Noah is off his A game and dstaring into space. They fall off the ramp and crash)

Gwen's Mother: Oh... so sorry Team Chris. it appears you lost.

Bridgette: (goes and helps them up) Are you okay?

Noah: .... (stands up and walks away) Fine... I'm fine.

Gwen: (hands Cody his skirt back) You might want to get dressed. (Cody quickly takes the skirt and puts it on) (Yes, he still has the skirt)

Owen: (points at Noah) I hope he's not!

Alejandro: (nudges Owen) Patience... (whispers) Revenge...

Gwen's Mom: Elimination time...

Gwen's Mom: *sees that Team Victory won*... Team Amazon did.

Gwen: But Mom-

Gwen's Mom: You get to enjoy the luxury of first class. *eyes Gwen again* Luxury for those who NEED it.

Gwen's Mom: *hinthintCourtneyhinthint*

--> Gwen: Special treatment?! Seriously? Look, in about a week, Courtney will take the test and we'll know if this was all for naught. I'm not playing this game with unfair rules AGAIN!

ELIMINATION (PM me the votes?)

Ella: (Alejandro and Izzy have barg bags. The last one is being held by Ella) The person who has to stay on this death trap of a plane is...

Ella: Noah, honey

Ella: You're safe.

Noah: Huh?

Ella: Owen is going home tonight.

Owen: Double Huh!?

Ella: Sorry, kid.

Chef: (gives Owen the parachute) Let's hope it fits.

Owen: Well that's just great! I can't believe the girlfriend stealer stays!

Ella: Sorry. (nudges him toward the drop)

Noah: What are you talking about? I never stole Izzy!

Izzy: Yeah! Plus, he's gay.

Noah: IZZY!

Ella: I wish I could let you talk it out...

Owen: What?

Chef: No time, sister! *pushes Owen out of the plane*

Alejandro: A fitting end for such a fool. 
 Ella: ...well, that was an interesting episode! Who will go next time? Will my daughter make sure to take care of that poor girl? Will that Hispanic jerk over there get his just desserts?! (calms down) Find out next time...on Total, Drama, GURL TOUR!