EPISODES 10-12 http://gurl-time.wikia.com/wiki/Total_Drama_Gurl_Tour_Part_4
EPISODES 13-15 http://gurl-time.wikia.com/wiki/Total_Drama_Gurl_Tour_Part_5
EPISODES 16-18 http://gurl-time.wikia.com/wiki/Total_Drama_Gurl_Tour_Part_6
Team Amazon --- MightyMewtron
Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot --- CoGreen2.0
Team Victory --- GleekGurlJerks
Chinese Cliff OutEdit
Chris: Last time on my face! The camera said I'm booful! -3-
- theme song*
(Courtney is eating some cake. Duncan is just sitting there watching.)
Duncan: Hey, Court, mind if I-
Courtney: Traitors don't get dessert.
Courtney: If it weren't for me, we wouldn't have won the challenge.
Duncan: (scoffs) It was my secret. And you made it out to be a big deal.
Courtney: Well, it won us immunity. And you were in danger of elimination, so you ought to thank me.
--> Duncan: I'm not worried about elimination. Alejandro is the one who should be worried. If he doesn't leave the game, I'll just push him off the plane once I get the chance.
(Economy Class, Al, Gwen, Noah, and Bridgette)
Alejandro: (looking out the window. He's ignoring the three)
--> Bridgette: How could I have eliminated Zeke over Al? I mean, at least Zeke was trying to be nice to me.
---> Alejandro: I need to come up with a strategy... something to keep the drama away from myself...
Gwen: (to the other two) It's pretty clear Alejandro has to go. And if not him, we get rid of Duncan. They're both the biggest jerks here.
Bridgette: Sounds good to me.
Noah: (nudges Gwen) Hey... thanks for not blabbing back at Niagara Falls. That was moderately decent of you.
Gwen: (smiles) Of course. I wouldn't stoop so low, not even for a challenge. Besides, (smirks) Duncan is probably suffering in there with Courtney on his back.
CHRIS: CHINA TIME! (teleports to China)
Chris: Race to the end of the great wall of China! GO!
Noah: Mind slowing down when explaining the challenge?
Chris: No! That's the chinese way!
Noah: ... No it's not. -_-
Chris: My show Beeeyatch. -3-
Courtney: Someone's going to get angry letters.
Chris: I never check my mailbox. GO! (There is a tricyle, a bike, a skateboard, a donkey, a pogo stick, and high heels) Gwen: (finds a bike) This could work. (rides it)
Noah: (looks at his arms. They are both in casts) Uh... what fits for me? (there is also a rickshaw)
Noah: (sits in it) Any one feeling charitable today?
Duncan: (skates by on skateboard) Tough luck.
Alejandro: (rides by on the tricycle) Thems the brakes.
Bridgette: (to Noah) I guess I could help you out. (looks at the donkey) And maybe he can, too.
(Bridgette directs the donkey to the rickshaw and hooks herself up...riding the donkey)
Bridgette: Huzzah! The transportation has been doubled!
Noah: Without that toque wearing leechball around, you're a lot more productive, Bridge. (smiles)
Courtney: Well...I guess I can take the heels... or the pogo stick. (she gets on the pogo stick) This should be fun. (she hops away)
Noah: Mush! (the donkey walks)
--> Bridgette: Noah's actually a cool guy. And since he's the enemy of Alejandro as of late, pulling him is like slapping Al in the face.
Alejandro: (rides alongside Duncan) Hola.... So how about those designated hater positions.
Duncan: Right now, everyone hates you more than me. We're not equal. I didn't impregnate a seventeen year old girl.
Alejandro: I didn't REFUSE to help said seventeen year old. Now did I?
---> Alejandro: (snaps his fingers) I think I just got an idea... but first.. a distraction for the delinquint.
Duncan: Well, excuse me, but it's YOUR fault I had to desert her!
Alejandro: It's not my fault you're currently hated though. Not as much as I, per say. But still hated.
Alejandro: I didn't make the calls on whether you'd be the father or not.
Alejandro: And I most certainly didn't rat you out for not wanting to raise the baby.
Alejandro: My point is, I know I'm done. This game is over for me. But I owe it to you. After all, all you did was enter this game and have fingers pointed at you and accusations thrown around. Even a human child was thrust upon you.
Duncan: Hey...you're right. They shouldn't be mad at me. I didn't do anything. It's your doing and Courtney's doing.
Duncan: I just got caught up in this by boyfriend law or something.
Alejandro: Exactly, amigo! I see that, you see that. You deserve a true shot at the money.
Duncan: Wow....I didn't know you could be nice after all this.
Alejandro: Having to know what I did on national T.V. in a drunken stupor can change someone.
--> Duncan: I don't like Alejandro. No one likes Alejandro. But if he's going to willingly be an ally to me, well, who am I to turn him away?
Alejandro: But you shouldn't have to suffer for my mistake. We need a guys alliance. The girls are all way too tight together. Bridgette, Gwen, and Courtney are practically BFFs! The men in this game are as scattered as can be.
Alejandro: So to get ahead, you need to get Noah back on our side. He won't listen to me, but his chances of listening to you are slightly higher.
Duncan: Alright, I guess. I'll talk to him. (skates away)
Alejandro: And for all we know... (watches Duncan leave and go out of sight) That queer is probably one of the girls already...
Gwen: (is cycling in first place) Ha! I can't believe it! I have a chance to- (runs into a mine) WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN
Noah: (sees something fly overheard. It looks like a shooting star) Make a wish.
Noah: (it's Gwen) Oh that sucks.
Bridgette: I wish it were a shooting star...so I could wish this donkey moved faster. (The donkey brays) (Courtney pogos by the rickshaw)
Noah: I'm just hoping we get there before this season comes out on DVD. (kicks the floor) Move it Ace!
Courtney: Lagging a bit there?
Noah: (raises an eyebrow at Courtney) Should you be doing that.. in your condition?
Courtney: It's a stupid pogo stick. I'm pretty good on it. And besides, it was this or the slippery heels, and I have a smaller risk of falling here.
Noah: Well okay then. I just make sure you have a healthy bouncing baby, just not litteraly. (the cart moves faster)
Bridgette: Wow, nice going, Ace!
Bridgette: Must have gotten an adrenaline boost. (Gwen lands in their rickshaw)
Noah: Must be touchy on the baby subject.
Noah: And... there's a Gwen in our ride.
Gwen: ....where's my bike? (The bike lands in her lap...it is charred)
Gwen: My bike is burnt!
Chris: HELLO! (they all made it) YOU GET TO PARTICIPATE IN THE NEXT CHALLENGE! (is yelling into a megaphone)
Alejandro: (Alejandro and Duncan are there) I did.
Duncan: (rolls his eyes)
Chris: (teleports to Chinses retraunts) WE EAT FOOD! WE EAT FOOD! IT TASTES BAD! DON'T THROW UP AND YOU'LL WIN! MAN MAN CHI! (is high)
Courtney: Are you okay, Chris?
Ella: (tosses Chris aside) Sorry kids. We're gonna let Chris cool down... in the meantime, talk amongst one another.
Duncan: Probably got into some sort of Chinese marijuana. It's strong around here.
Bridgette: (eyes him) How do you know so much about Chinese marijuana?
Noah: Take a wild guess.
Ella: Wait... you smoke marijuana Duncan?
Duncan: CAN WE CHANGE THE SUBJECT?
Duncan: (remembers Al's talk) So....Noah....how's life?
Noah: (lifts up his broken arms)
Duncan: ....right, right. Yeah, I'm sure Alejandro's sorry about that. I mean, we can't hold grudges forever. We're all guys here.
Duncan: Know what we should do? We should team up against the girls.
Noah: Hey! That's a great idea! ... Just one problem.
Noah: I hate you.
Alejandro: (walks up and puts his arms around Noah and Duncan) But that's what makes guys guys. We can put all of that aside.
Noah: It's a little late to try and manipulate me, Al.
Duncan: Remember, I made it really far last season. I know my stuff.
Noah: Yeah, because you had a competant team. I wasn't so lucky my first time around.
Duncan: (points to Alejandro) And if he didn't know HIS sutff, he'd have be eliminated in Paris.
---> Noah: Okay, I'll admit. I sucked first season... but Lindsay over me? What were they thinking?
Noah: .... Whatever. So what's the catch? Final three? Four?
Duncan: I figure we can all make the final three. After that, you can dump us, or we could dump you.
Duncan: But for now, we should pick off Courtney, Gwen and Bridgette before they go against us.
Noah: Getting dumped on... tempting... How about this. Final four, then I'm splitting. ... I'd shake hands but you can thank Al for that.
Alejandro: I apologize for your injuries. It was the adrenaline acting, not me.
Noah: And I'm sure it was the adrenaline acting when you(cut off by Chris)
Chris: MAN MAN CHI!
Courtney: That means "Eat slowly."
Ella: (shoves Chris) Challenge time! Duncan: (to Courtney) Well, ni hao, Kai Lan.
Ella: You will eat these disgusting meals... (hands them each a bowl of terrible food)
Alejandro: (gags) I can;'t... my body can't process this! (begins eating anyway... gags... eats... gags... eats.. gags)
--> Gwen: Does someone here have a fetish for indigestible food?
---> Chef: (enters Gwen's confessional wearing a kimono) As if my fetish wasn't clearly spelled out for y'all....
Ella: Eat, please. :3 Sorry.
Alejandro: (eats... gags... eats... gags)
Gwen: (tastes) Ugh, what is this, some kind of meat?
Ella: Donkey meat.
Bridgette: WHAT?! I RODE a donkey here! Never mind I'm vegetarian!
Ella: (pats Bridgette and Noah's shoulders) His time with you was some of the greatest minutes of his life...
BRIDGETTE OUT IN ROUND 1
Bridgette: I can't. I'm sorry.... (goes away)
Ella: (hands them dead starfish) Eat.
Duncan: Are you crying?
Bridgette: NO! THE STENCH GOT IN MY EYES!
ACE THE DONKEY: 2013-2013
Duncan: (tastes the starfish) Ugh....it tastes like dumbness. (throws up) DUNCAN OUT IN ROUND 2
Patrick: I'm not a krusty krab...
Ella: (hands them skinned sponges) Bob appetit.
Gwen: How does this even work?
Alejandro: (whispers to Duncan) Duncan... (the girls can't hear) If you can eat Noah and my food, we can prove to him that our alliance is legit.
Courtney: ...oh god...(throws up) FRICKING NAUSEA!
Alejandro: (whispers) Let's face it. He'll vote for either of us tonight. This is the only way to convince him.
Duncan: Okay. I'm in.
Duncan: But why YOUR food?
Noah: (has broken arms, he's trying to grab the sponge. He knocks the bowl on the floor) Dammit.
Alejandro: This is an alliance, right?
Alejandro: (accidently knocks his bowl on the floor) I'd do the same for you, amigo.
Duncan: (sneaks under the table and grabs the sponges. He eats it.)
Duncan: (to Noah) Guys rule, right?
Noah: Huh? (sees Duncan.....).... I.. I guess..
---> Noah: Okay.. why not?
--> Duncan: (gagging) This is NOT in the Bro Code!
Ella: Gwen, Al, and Noah left...
Ella: (hands them a krabby patty) (an old one) (from that episode where Spongebob falls in love with a krabby patty) (Oh my god)
Gwen: Is this even Chinese food anymore?
Ella: Sorry sweety.
Alejandro: Wait. WHAT did you say this was called? "holds his plate under the table)
Gwen: (notices him holding his plate) Wait...why is your plate unde-(Duncan burps)
Courtney: Ew, at least say excuse me.
Noah: (covers it up) Gwen! There's a fly on your burger!
Noah: A mouse on your plate!
Gwen: (looks down) Where?
Noah: SOMETHING that doesn't involve under the table!@
Gwen: I'm pretty sure that's part of the meal.
Noah: (facepalms... with a broken arm) AUGH!
Ella: And Noah and Al have finished their plates. (their plates are cleaned) Sorry Gwen.
--> Gwen: Alejandro is up to something fishy again...and it's not just from the Krabby Patty.
Ella: Al and Noah left!
Alejandro: (shakes his head at Duncan)
---> Alejandro: We couldn't cheat in the last round. Too suspicious.
Gwen: (eyes Duncan suspiciously)
Noah: Sorry Al. With your taste buds slowing you down. I guess this is a win for me. Finally. (tries grabbing thelast dish... can't)
Alejandro: (gag.... eat.... gag.... eat)
Noah: (can't grab the plate) Dammit!
Gwen: EAT LIKE A DOG, NOAH!
Alejandro: (gag eat.. gag eat... gag eat)
Noah: .... (shrugs) Meh. Dignity is overrated. (begins eating like a dog)
Alejandro: You bet I do, mysterous voice. (burps. he;'s done)
Ella: Dammit.... Al wins.
Gwen: Or did he?!
Courtney: What do you mean?
Alejandro: (no emotion)
Gwen: Anyone else notice how Noah and Al kept "dropping" their plates? OR (points to Duncan) how Duncan kept chewing even after he was eliminated?
Noah: ... (shrugs)
---> Noah: Defend Duncan?... Nah.
Gwen: And (sniffs Duncan) He smells of moldy Krabby Patty, which was eaten AFTER he was kicked out!
Courtney: When did you become so observant?
Ella: My baby is quite the detective. (hugs Gwen) Ma baby. ^-^ (embaresses her)
Gwen: (squirms out of her mom's hug, blushes) ...Righ
Gwen: ANYWAY, I find it no surprise that Alejandro and Duncan would cheat. And it appears even Noah is cheating.
Noah: Hey. I'm crippled. I need all the help I can get. I have an alibi.
Gwen: Right....I excuse you for that.
Gwen: But the other two are just jerks.
Ella: And with that, elimination!
Alejandro: (whispers to Noah and Duncan) Gwen's getting too smart. AND she's Courtney's caretaker. Take her out, Courtney goes next. (nods)
Ella: And time to vote! Get out your voting hats and GO VOTE!
Ella: ... (holds up five barf bags) One for Alejandro.
Ella: One for Bridgette.
(Alejandro smirks and nonchalantly eats his)
(Bridgette happily catches hers)
Ella: (throws one at Courtney) Catch sweety! :3
Courtney: (catches the barf bag) Yes!
Ella: (pulls out the votes) ... One for Gwen... one for Duncan... one for Noah. (pulls out three more) and with four votes against them....
Ella: Assface. (throws barf bags at Gwen and Noah)
Ella: (points to herself) Hey! Language!
Gwen: A vote for me?
Courtney: I wouldn't have.
Duncan: You're not really my first priority right now.
Ella: (throws Duncan a parachute) Bye.
Duncan: (scoffs) Fine! I've been betrayed too much here anyway. (glares at Courtney....she glares back)
Courtney: (pushes him) GET OUT OF MY LIFE! Ella: (cheers) Find out who else will get out of Courtney's life on TOTAL DRAMA GURL TOUR!
A Freaking Lying Sa-BradyEdit
Chris: Last time on TOTAL DRAMA GURL TOUR!..... I hate intros. *opening sequence* (First Class, Al and Court) Alejandro: (pushes a cart to Courtney filled with scones) I thought I oughta invite you to first class. As a peace offering, if you will.
Courtney: (takes a scone) While it is nice up here, I'm not forgiving you for (points to stomach) this. Alejandro: About that. *sits next to her* I've been thinking about *points to her stomach* that. Courtney: (scoots away a little) You're GOING to have to pay, you know. I have a law team by my side, and we'll ensure that you compensate for me and my child. Alejandro: Courtney... I didn't want to bring this up until I knew you and Duncan were officially over. But now that he's gone, I'd like to reassure that I WILL compensate for your child... but I want it to be OUR child. I wish to be the father. (takes her hand) Courtney: (nearly chokes on her scone) You?! I as worried about Duncan's influence...but you're even worse! Alejandro: I have seen the errors of my ways. And you said it yourself. Your child needs a male figure in its life. I wish not to rob the poor child of such an experience. Courtney: ....we'll see.
(Economy Class, Noah, Bridgette and Gwen)
Gwen: (to Noah) One jerk down, one to go. Noah: First Al makes a guys alliance, then doesn't invite the only guy other than himself to first class. Needless to say, this alliance was over before it even began. Gwen: I just hope Courtney's okay. Noah: She'll be fine. Pregnant or not, she can pack a punch. (sighs) On a lighter subject, I should be getting these off in two or three weeks. (holds up his arms) (his casted arms) Gwen: Good. Maybe then you can smack Alejandro in his smug face? Noah: I'd rather have the jerk GONE before two or three weeks. Bridgette: (joins the two) If we all work together, he'll be gone by tonight.
Gwen: We say that every time. It never happens. Why is that? Noah: No doubt Courtney will be in on this. Four against one. Al's a goner. Bridgette: Cross your fingers....unless they're....kind of obstructed in the cast. (Chris teleports them to Africa)
Chris: AFRICA! (random voice) AAAAAAAATINYANAAAAAAAAAAHABABISHAIIOJODFIE Chris: The Serengeti. Our next location! Your first challenge is to use these gourds to break those pots! But to get the gourds, you must grab them from that kart over their while the remaining finalists kick soccer balls at you! Gwen: You have no idea what culture is like where we visit, do you? Chris: ... What's cull.... t...ur.e..?
Alejandro: But Chris. You can't expect our child (scoots closer to Courtney) To be pelted with soccer balls? Courtney: (nods) Right. Chris: Yes I do. -3-
Alejandro: ... No you don't.
Chris: I do. -3-
Alejandro: ... You don't.
Chris: O3O BEEEYATCH I do what I want!
Chris: Who wants to go first? Gwen: ...I guess I may as well. Chris: (points to the gourd stand) RUN GOTHIE RUN! Gwen: (runs to the goards) Alejandro: (kicks a soccer ball at her legs) Gwen: NYA! (jumps) Noah: (kicks and misses a soccer ball. He lands on his back) Help! I've fallen and I can't get up. Courtney: ....I feel bad for this, almost... (kicks it to her back)
Gwen: Noah? (she brakes. Courtney's ball knocks her down.)
Courtney: (helps Noah up) You saved me once...
Bridgette: (kicks the ball. It nails Gwen in the head as she gets up.) Noah: Yeah, Thanks.
Alejandro: (kicks another) Overkill? Gwen: Nurbleflavenskodkoew/......(faints)
Courtney: Is she okay?
Bridgette: She may have a concussion. Let me check. Noah: I think she's fallen. And... she can't get up... Courtney: Those are like, arc words today.
(Bridgette goes to Gwen and feels her pulse) Chris: (is off to the side reading a dictionary)... C...c....ult..u...r.r.e...? Bridgette: She's alive. (to Gwen) Are you okay?
Gwen: (holding her head) My head hurts....but that's all.
Bridgette: Sorry for the last ball. Chris: Well... this challenge has proven too dangerous. On with the next part of the challenge! (hands them all three gourds) Now smash those pots with them using these bats! Each of you have THREE shots!
Noah: (raises his cast) Courtney: (to herself) Yes! No ball hits. Chris: Yes?
Noah: What if we can't swing a bat for some blatantly obvious reason?
Chris: Tough nubs. -3- (ba dum BUMSCH!) --> Gwen: Was there some sort of test of jerkassery they did to ensure the host was the worst possible one? ---> Chris: Yes. -3-
Chris: You may all begin!
Noah: (stares at his bat) .... I'm having a blast over here.
Alejandro: You lack enthusiasm, Noah. (Bridgette smacks a goard with her bat. It misses the pot.) Noah: You lacked condoms, Al. (Courtney hits her goard with GREAT FORCE! It breaks a pot.) Alejandro: (gets angry and hits a gourd at a pot. It smashes) Ah. That's better. Courtney: Yes! Noah: (swats at the gourd. It moves an inch) Delightful. Gwen: (keeps trying to hit the goard, but she's still a little loopy. She can't even smack it the first two times.) Alejandro: (hits another gourd. It misses) (Courtney hits another pot) Alejandro: Well done Courtney. I had no idea you had such precision. Courtney: Thank you...(mumbles) baby daddy. Noah: (a monkey steals Noah's gourds) This day just keeps getting better and better. --> Courtney: Okay. Alejandro is a jerk. But he's actually willing to help. I mean....a bird in the hand, right? Even if the bird took advantage of your drunken nature and gave you a child. Chris: TIME'S UP THE WINNER IS COURTNEY!!! Advantage to part 2. (hands her pink tranq balls and a slingshit) Courtney: (gets the tranq balls and slingSHOT) What is this for? (looks at Al) Are we hunting someone? Chris: Today... you will hunting a very wild and feral monster... you will be hunting.... (A large crate opens up and reveals...... Justin)
Justin: Hey. (smiles) Chris: Hey Justin. The papariazzi is somewhere in the Serengeti. You'd better go find them. Gwen: (sarcasm) THE HORROR. Justin: (rips off his shirt and runs off) Bridgette: (notices shirtless Justin) Crap. Noah: (notices too) Crap.
Slingshit: Crap. Courtney: (blushes) (Hey Noah. Your shorts are looking a little tight there) Chris: (hands Courtney three tranq balls, Al and Bridgette two, and Noah and Gwen one)
Chris: GO CATCH THE HOT GUY! (blows air horn in Noah's ear)
Noah: (screams in pain) AAAAAAAAAASAVANIAAAAAAAAAA
Gwen: (to Noah) We only have the two balls between us. (stops for a second) Tranq balls. We're also highly unlikely to succeed on our own without falling down. Team? Noah: I thought you'd never ask. (uses his teeth to place a rubber band between his casts. They make a slingshot) (It takes Noah a while to do this) Gwen: Crafty. Alejandro: (stands by Courtney) Shall we search together? (takes her hand) I've been training to be a lion tamer, so it's best to stick with me in case we run into one. Not only is it useful here, but a finacially stable job too. Courtney: (sigh) Whatever you say. And I've been thinking... Alejandro: Yes? ...
Chris: (puts goggles on everyone while they're busy talking) Courtney: A kid takes a lot of work. You've gotten (her goggles snap) OW! WATCH IT! ....very far in the game, despite being a jerk. It takes some skill to do that.
Courtney: ...and you DO need to pay for what you did. Courtney: So I will take up your offer. But it's not a reward, it's a punishment. Alejandro: You can look at it anyway you want. I see it as my sole duty. Courtney: Nice to see you finally taking an interest. ---> Alejandro: I REALLY see it as another shameless way to pull myself ahead in this game. (laughs) I LOVE taking advantage of the weak minded. (rubs his hands together) Courtney: (readies her slingshot) Let's go hunt a model! Alejandro: (follows) Chica, yes, chica! Bridgette: (looks around. The other teams are gone.) So....I'm alone, huh? Ah well. (adjusts her goggles and goes) Justin: (is off standing in a tree) If I stand up here. Maybe the cameras can see me.. then find me... and take pictures of my gorgeous bod. -3- (Gwen and Noah pass the tree) Lion: (sees Justin) RAWR! (in lion language that means "OMG SEXY") Gwen: Do you smell....expensive perfumes and lion crap? Noah: Better question... are your eyes hurting? (there is a bright light coming from the tree) Augh! (Gwen looks up and sees Justin)
Gwen: HIS TEETH ARE TOO SHINY! Justin: You're not the paparazzi! (smiles) But you can still look...
Lion: (roars at Noah and Gwen) (in lion language he said "I SAW HIS BOD FIRST!") Gwen: (shields Noah's eyes) Shield your eyes! (You know....you have a hot male model and a boy in the closet. and a jerk in the game...get what I'm laying down here?)
Justin: (leaps onto the lion's back) Go. Let us ride... to somewhere where our hotness will be appreciated. -3- *rides away* Gwen: Follow the lion! (Wait...where were we? Let's check on the baby couple.) Alejandro: (searching the serengetti with Courtney) Seen anything... or anyone? Courtney: Not yet. But he could be anywhere. (holds up her three tranq balls) Good thing we have more ammo than the others. Alejandro: (looks around... grabs Courtney from walking any further) Courtney: Hey! What's wrong?. Alejandro: You'll find that you should be thanking me. (points to the ground.... quicksand was in front of her) Courtney: Oh, thanks. Alejandro: I couldn't allow anything to happen to you.
Lion: RAWR! (in lion language that's "help me! I'm in quicksand") There is a lion in quicksand. Justin is on top of it) Courtney: (rolls her eyes) Anything further. ...we should try to tolerate each other. We're going to do it for this kid's life anyway.
Courtney: Oh my god! (aims her tranq) Noah: (Gwen and Noah run to the other side of the quicksand pit) Justin jump over here!
(Justin can either jump to Courtney and Al, or Noah and Gwen) Justin: AH! My beautiful body will be stained by sand!
Justin: (sees Courtney...flips his hair) Hey. Noah: No! Jump over here! Al is a jerk, dude. (nudges Gwen) Help me out here. He's a prize... I MEAN THE PRIZE.... uh. Courtney: (blushes)
Gwen: Come on, Justin! We have...um...
Courtney: (pulls out a random hairbrush) Do they have THIS? Noah: No! Uh... We lack hot guys over here!
Noah: So... uh... we need your help!
Noah: So... uh... yeah.
Noah: ... (shrugs and turns to Gwen) I'm lost. Justin: (is watching Noah argue and Gwen break) Justin: I'm gonna go with Courtney. She's the only one who can compliment my hotness.
Courtney: HAHA! Noah: ........ YOU'RE HOT! REALLY REALLY! Courtney: Noah, you're being creepy.
Gwen: What's that supposed to mean? Noah: (clecnhes his fist) Why? For being gay!? (covers his mouth) Courtney: (gasp) ...I knew it.
Gwen: (sighs in relief) Oh thank god! That's a big secret off my chest. Noah: (.....) ... You knew... what? (turns to Gwen) Did you tell her?
Noah: You told... didn't you? Gwen: NO! Noah: SCREW YOU! I trusted you! (almost cries) NO wonder... no WONDER Trent broke up with you! (runs away) Courtney: She didn't tell me. It's been going around the plane since we docked in Germany.
Gwen: BUT I DIDN'T TELL! Gwen: (is nearing tears) Noah... Justin: ..... (shrugs and leaps to Courtney) --> Gwen: I swear... I didn't tell. Courtney just opened her big mouth and made one of the only non-jerk people left here run away! Justin: Is now a bad time for my close up? (poses) Courtney: (to Justin) No....but you're about to close your eyes. Say night night! (starts to aim the tranq ball at him) Alejandro: (prepares to fire a tranq in Justin's face)
Alejandro: (fires) Gwen: (prepares to fire a tranq at Justin's back)
Gwen: (fires) Chris: (leaps out of the lion's mouth) GWEN WINS! Gwen: (hits Justin in the back...her rage made her fire earlier....let's go with that)
Gwen: Can I choose who comes with me to first class?
(Choice is obvious) Chris: Sure ^-^
Chris: It's me, isn't it? Gwen: No. It's Noah. He's lost his trust in me, and I want to win him back. I didn't tell his secret. Noah's one of my best friends in this game right now....no offense Courtney. Alejandro: (gulps) ... Um Court... we have each other's back, don't we? Courtney: None taken.
Courtney: (to Alejandro) We have to. It's for the good of my....our child. Alejandro: So... no voting for each other? Courtney: No. I still have to teach you everything a good father should know. You can't leave yet! Chris: Speaking of leave! ELIMINATION!
(Alejandro, Gwen, Noah, and Courtney are in the elimination Room)
--> Courtney: Alejandro has caused me a lot of pain...literally. But he's a more or less responsible person, I guess....so why not? Courtney: Um, Chris....where's Bridgette? (Bridgette is lost in the serengetti)
Chris: I don't know. Nor do I care. Ella: (runs up) Hey. I sent a rescue team to find her. They should be back any minute. (Bridgette is in the middle of the serengetti.)
Bridgette: Hello? Is anyone here?
(a lion roars)
Bridgette: Oh crap.
Bridgette: I still have my ammo! (She has one ammo ball)
(A lion pops out)
Bridgette: Nice lion....(she aims her ammo ball...the lion jumps it)
Bridgette: ...Hakuna matata? (it roars in her face and jumps her) Lion: Nala? (it's not Nala. He mauls her) (The security team returns)
Security Guy: The surfer girl was mauled by a lion.
Gwen: What?! Is she alive?!
Security Guy: ....sort of. Noah: What do you mean, sort of? Yes or NO!? Security Guy: She's comatose right now. Ella: She has to be put in the nearest hospital! We need to wait for her recovery before we-
Chris: We're waiting for nothing.
Chris: She's slow us down. We're going on without her. (turns to the final four) CONGRATS! You are the final four! Gwen: ......this feels wrong.
--> Courtney: Oh, HER medical issues are a problem?! Noah: (stands up and screams) GODAMMIT! (points to Al) JUST GO AWAY!!! (glares at Gwen... then runs out of the room) Gwen: NOAH! WAIT! (chases after him)
Courtney: ....(to Alejandro) To economy class, Al? Alejandro: Yes. Let us depart for more suitable company. (takes her arm and walks)
Ella:.... Yeah... join us next time... I guess. Chris: ....well, that concludes the awkwardly-ended episode!
Chris: Will Gwen patch things up with the gay Noah?
Chris: Will Courtney and Alejandro raise a weird child together?
Chris: Join us next time on Total....Drama....GURL TOOOOOOOOOUR!
Chris: (to legal team) Am I responsible for the mauling? Legal Team: We've fallen and we can't get up!
Chris: LAST TIME ON (takes drugs) PURPLE MOUNTAIN MAJESTIES!!! (Ella kicks him) (First Class. Noah and Gwen) (Gwen is awkwardly sitting across from Noah. Noah is still TO'ed.) Noah: (mumbles) Damn straight i am. Noah: You know, Gwen... I actually liked you. But. You were the only other pessimistic cool person on this show. Gwen: Noah. I told you, I didn't tell Courtney anything. I knew how insecure you felt. She guessed it on her own, I swear. Gwen: I wouldn't betray one of my best friends. Noah: Which is exactly why you told her! You wouldn't keep secrets from your REAL best friend. Courtney. Gwen: Why would I even NEED to tell her? Noah: After all, didn't your mom assign you the task of entertaining the pregnant girl? Of course my secret would slip in one of your conversations. Gwen: Look, Noah. This rumor's been going around since Germany. A few people here believed Izzy. Courtney was one of them. Gwen: You DID end up gawking a little bit at Cody in Jamaica... Noah: EVERYONE was surprised at that! (blushes) And it wasn't gawking! Gwen: The point is, it was BEFORE you confirmed it to me! So don't pin the blame on ME! Noah: (turns to Ella) Can you control your lying daughter, like, please? Noah: It's not like this is the first time you went behind a dude's back and screwed him over... Gwen: Oh, and Noah? (actually shouts) I broke up with TRENT! Noah: Because... you're INSENSITIVE!!! Ella: Wow. I can feel the awkward in here, so....(runs away) (EXONOMY CLASS) Alejandro: *shudders* Did you feel that? (Courtney: Yeah. It feels like...awkwardness. Courtney: No matter! (pulls out her list) It's prenatal planning time. Alejandro: Go on. (is attentive) ---> Alejandro: Ugh.. Duncan warned me about this time. Courtney: Okay then. (beams) So, once we leave the show- one of us will have won the cash- we'll pick up a few resources so we can further research our parenting. Courtney: We're going to need clothing, food, all the works. Alejandro: (is nodding to everything she says) Courtney: Oh, and one of those easy listening things you let the baby listen to while it develops. I hear those improve its intelligience. --> Courtney: Alejandro is far more attentative than Duncan. I think this is going to actually be a good dynamic. (rubs her stomach) Maybe the little one being half Alejandro isn't so bad after all. Alejandro: (skips to the part where he flatters Courtney) An offspring of ours MUST be smart. I mean... we're two of the smartest people i know. Courtney: (blushes) Thank you. (Ella transports them to Easter Island) Courtney: (snaps back) But we are still primarily a business couple, here to make sure this kid grows. Gwen: Where's Chris? Courtney: Likely getting high back on the plane. Ella: Courtney, that's not nice to assume. Ella:.... But yes. He is. Ella: Your challenge is to search these easter island heads and claim eggs of your color. (tosses Courtney a Green headdress. Alejandro a red one. Noah a pink one and Gwen a blue one) (The heads look like the eliminated) Courtney: My headdress is an uncreative color! (Went there) Noah: (holds up his pink headress) ... You did this one purpose. Ella: Oh! Sorry Noah. (hands him a rainbow headress) Noah: ... No comment. (wears it) Gwen: (really striving to make nice) Now you're...(shudders and mumbles) Rainbow Dash? --> Gwen: I just made a PONY reference. If that doesn't show me trying hard to make nice with Noah, I don't know what DOES! Noah: (scowls) .... (sighs and holds up his fist for a bro hoof) Gwen: (rolls her eyes and brohoofs him back) Gwen: This isn't becoming a thing, though. (runs off) Noah: (walks) Alejandro: Courtney! You must allow me to grab these eggs for you. You get the ones lower to the ground! If you go too high, you could fall. Courtney: Wow, thank you, Alejandro. ---> Alejandro: As much as I hate pretending to have genuine feelings for that rabid list maker, I must say, I've been feeling a lot less hate since I stuck with her. (Gwen approaches Owen's head. She reaches into his ear and pulls out bacon. She reaches into his eye and pulls out pancakes.) Gwen: Every part of the breakfast....but the egg. Gwen: (reaches up his nose with disgust and finds a blue egg) Aha! Noah: (reaching his cast into Izzy's mouth. The stone clamps on his hand. He screams and jumps back) AUGH! Izzy bit me! --> Gwen: How is that even... (realizes she's questioning Izzy logic) ...never mind. Alejandro: (reaches into Heather's ear) Now what's going on in that diabolical mind of yours? (pulls out a red egg) Oh, for me? (pats Heather's head and leaps away) (Courtney starts crawling around Sierra'a head) Courtney: (finds a green egg...with Cody's face taped onto it for some reason) Courtney: Why am I not surprised... Noah: (looks inside Cody's head.. there is a Gwen egg) Predicatble. (leaves it and doesn't tell) Gwen: (finds a green egg inside of LeShawna's ear) Courtney! Courtney: (looks up) Alejandro: (walks over to the dj HEAD... It collapses and almost crushes him) AUGH! I almost died! Gwen: Think fast! (throws it towards her) Courtney: (catches the egg) Thanks, Gwen! Alejandro: (a blue egg rolls out to Alejandro's feet. Alejandro picks it up and rushes over to Gwen) Gwen: No problem... (mumbles) even though you ruined my friendships... Alejandro: Chica, your egg. (hands it to her) Gwen: (takes it) No thanks for jerks. (Courtney is now at Duncan's head) Alejandro: There was a thanks in that sentence. I'll take it. (leaves) Courtney: (smirks) Well, well, well. If it isn't the punky traitor. Noah: (grabs an egg on top of Harold's head. It's rainbow) Wow. They went through the trouble... Courtney: (picks up one of the eggs she already has) I'd throw this...but I like winning more than I do getting into a fight with a giant stonehead. (Courtney and Gwen are climbing up the Duncan model) Courtney: Oh, hey Gwen. Gwen: Hey, Court! You feeling okay? Courtney: A little pain, I'll admit. But Alejandro's doing a good job of helping me deal now. It's almost like he's my new caretaker. Alejandro: (is crawling on top of Ezekiel's head) .. Hmm... what have you got for us, you useless waste of flesh? (reaches in his hat and pulls out a red egg) I take offense that they put one of my precious eggs in you. (leaps off the head) Gwen: (gets an "are u srs" face) Alejandro? Remember he's the one who caused this problem in the FIRST place? Courtney: Yes. But he's sorry for it. Besides, it was partially my fault for letting myself get carried away with the drinking, anyway. Gwen: Whatever. Oh, one more thing: why did you say you knew about Noah's...quirk?
Courtney: Oh, it's been going around the plane so long, I thought it was a fact by now. I mean, Alejandro's been calling him queer, Izzy called him gay...it wasn't that much of a shock. Courtney: It wasn't necessarily true, but it wasn't a shocker. That's what I meant. Noah: (reaches into Lindsay's boobs) ... Ugh.... (pulls out a rainbow egg) Gwen: Oh..good. (she pulls a blue egg out of Duncan's head) ...pretend that's not symbolic. Wnat some help down? (They go down together) Ella: How many do each of you have? Alejandro: (holds up three red eggs) How about you, Courtney? Courtney: (hold up two) Noah: (only has two) Gwen: (holds up three) Gwen: So it's a tie on both ends. Ella: Alejandro and Gwen. You may begin the next part of the challenge. Go through the cave and reach the stone spire at the highest point of the island) Gwen: (sarcasm) Great. Alejandro: Sorry if you wanted a race, Gwen. But I'm waiting back here with Courtney. Gwen: (gives him a look of suspicion, looks at Courtney) Courtney: Fine by me. Gwen: I....okay. (she runs off) ---> Alejandro: Oh this is great! If I have Courtney on my side, then Gwen will be on my side too! (laughs) Two birdies with one stone! ---> Alejandro: Which leaves that gay kid the odd one out. Serves him right. Noah: (is crawling around Cody's again, researching) ... Who chiseled these? They're not... that.. bad. Noah: (finds his egg in the indent of Cody's hair) I can accept this. (Gwen is at the cave, at the stone spire) Ella: You win the first advantage! (hands Gwen a hockey mask) You'll need this. (everyone else catches up to Gwen) Ella: Gwen won the advantage... so now... WE SING! Ella: You must sing as you crawl up the stone spire and place the eggs into the condor nest. Gwen: Now? Like...at the end of the season? Courtney: I thought we were going to sing all season! Ella: Singing soothes the condors. Just for safety. ^-^ Ella: Who wants to go first? Alejandro: I shall! Alejandro: I'm young. I'm tall! I'm hot! I'm handsome! I'm coming to bring back your wee ones, so hush my sweet condor! Let me win this one please! So don't attack me, I'm a father to be! You'll soon see! Hush now condor, let me in the final three! (it wings him off) AUGH! Noah: (is not even climbing. He's having trouble grabbing) Whyyyyy oh whyyyy! Does life hate me, oh, so? Life hates me oh so oh so! Whyyyyy oh whyyyy! Am I not not at home, Who knows? (yells) Help me! Someone help me out! I'll be your best friend, and never make a snark again Courtney: I'm a mom soon, so don't be pecking on me! Cause I'll kick you're butt like a CIT! So hush, my sweet...LET ME IN THE FINAL THREE! (She falls...Alejandro catches her)
Ella: Your turn Gwen. ^-^ Gwen: I, oh I, I am not a liar, so don't try to knock me off this spire. This, this stupid game, it's making me ill....and Noah, please, I didn't spill....I didn't betray you...I never will! (The condor is distracted by the drama...Gwen is able to safely land her eggs there) Gwen: I'd be much happier....if I didn't have to siiiiiiing! Ella: (claps happily) Yay! You win! Condor: (speaks) Thank you kids for saving my children. Gwen: (sighs) Now I have to get down from here. Condor: (the condor flies away) GODSPEED! (flies into space) Courtney: That was weird. Noah: I'm not really surprised anymore. Alejandro: So... (glares at Noah) Elimination time? Ella: .. Who would each of you vote for? Gwen: Why are you asking us? Ella: Just wondering. Gwen: That's what confessionals are for. Ella: Well, confess out in the open. :3 Alejandro: Courtney and I can't separate now. And Gwen is a good friend of hers. On the other hand, Noah and Gwen seem to hate each other now. So it's best for Noah to go. Gwen: Well...the problem is...(looks at Alejandro and Courtney) the people I thought were enemies are actually proving to have a good effect on my friends. (looks to Noah) And my friends aren't even my friends anymore...but they don't deserve to go, either. Gwen: So...I'd say it would be best to vote for myself. Noah: (goes wide eyed) Wha.... Alejandro: Que? Gwen: I'm not really playing for myself anymore. I mean, my mom's working in television, what do I need cash for? Courtney: Really? Ella: I'd respect your choice Gwen... IF this was an elimination. Gwen: And besides...my two roles here, as friend and caretaker...they've been nullified. Gwen: Huh? Ella: Nobody's going home tonight! You're all safe. Gwen, take someone to first class with you. Gwen: ...I can't separate the two parents over there (she says that kind of snarkily) and I don't like the smell of awkward.... Gwen: But...(to Courtney) Just one night? Courtney: (looks to Alejandro) Noah: (goes wide eyed again and looks to Alejandro) Oh god, no. Alejandro: (smiles) ... If it's alright with you, Courtney. I'm sure some girl time would be healthy for you., Courtney: Thank you, Al. (she goes with Gwen) Alejandro: (turns to Noah) Don't get any funny ideas, (insert really offensive word for gay people) Noah: (gasps... walks to the plane) A Random Bird: GASP! Random Bird reports to God Condor, the magical talking bird) Condor: Intriguing... we must do something. Ghost Dawn: I'm on it. Condor: .... (turns to Ghost Dawn) I am relying on you, ghost Dawn. Ghost Dawn: (follows the plane)